“Balance. It’s like a unicorn; we’ve heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven’t actually seen one. I’m beginning to think it isn’t a thing.”
Jen Hatmaker, For the Love
I hope I have never given the impression that I balance it all. I don’t. I think that’s why I am so moved by the first chapter of this book the above quote is from, “For the Love.” Christmas cards are a great example of this. I had written this post in my head but was so thankful to read this chapter before I had a chance to type it.
IF I was sending a Christmas card, it would include this picture. And I would use that cute template that says, “All is not calm, but all is bright.”
(Photography: Robb Davidson Photography)
First, I love mail. I love sending real cards with stamps. I love receiving mail. I love cards and letters and stationary. I love getting Christmas cards. I love a picture I can hold and put up on my wall and connections with people and a mailbox full of joy.
Here is the background on the Christmas cards
(skip to “Where I’m At Now” if you’d like).
I longingly waited until we had a cute little face to put on Christmas cards. I had special pictures taken and addressed and stamped lovingly all my Christmas cards. I did this for one year. In 2011 we moved into a new house in December and then had my sister’s wedding. I sent New Year’s cards. Then in 2012 we had a baby in the fall and because I had just sent birth announcements, I thought, ‘I’ll skip Christmas cards this year.’ That’s not really true. My husband said, “Are you crazy? You have a new baby, a growing business, a toddler and you just sent out birth announcements that had a family picture on it. Let’s skip them this year.” I said, “But of course!” No, not true again. But, I did thankfully (eventually and begrudgingly) follow the wisdom of my husband and said to myself, ‘Well, years we have babies and send birth announcements I just won’t send Christmas cards.’
Then in 2013, I just couldn’t get it together. I know that I’ve been taken off other people’s card lists because I have not sent one. I know. I’m okay with that. But something had to give. In 2014, we had another baby. And guess what? I didn’t even send a birth announcement. And now it’s 2015 and I’m here again, but this year, I have come to grips with my life.
Where I’m At Now
Some things have to give. I just can’t do it all. And I have to be okay with that.
I am choosing to be wise with my time and my energy. This year I am sadly putting aside this time-honored tradition that I love and focusing on the things that God has put front and center. We have a lot going on with ministry, business, and of course, three little wonderful people.
This is sad for me, but I know that I will be less stressed, less busy, and more focused this season if I let this one go.
I hope you still do a Christmas card this year (but it’s okay if your policy is to only send one to those who send one too). I don’t share this to say anything negative about how you spend your time or energy. I love getting your cards and I am thankful that you can still do this (I hope to again one day). We all have to have different stories and a different balancing act.
I only share this to say that this is something that I, sadly, am giving up. I am freeing myself from feeling like I have failed because I can’t do it all. I am sharing that I am not letting myself feel judged because I didn’t send one again this year. I am freeing myself from the “well I will next year” lie and just letting it go.
If you want the other lists of things I have had to let go, I’m happy to share. I often sing “If I had a million hours…” to the tune of BNL’s “If I had a million dollars..” But I don’t. God generously gave me 24 hours (and a need for sleep) and seven days in a week. Learning to let things go that I feel I “should” do is a process of trusting Him and His plan for me. I don’t know what you need freedom from this year, but I hope there is some encouragement in this.
And this is the pile of personal, specific notes still on my to-do pile—some of which have been sitting there for eight weeks, one is my very best friend’s birthday card (three weeks ago). I have some other things I need to get to first.
And I love you all and Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah and thank you and everything else.